THE UNITED STATES
OF PEACE

WHAT AN AUTISTIC BOY COULD DO, 
BUT FEW STATESMEN CAN 

The How Did It All Start?

The Story of an Autistic Boy Finding Peace

It was just an ordinary winter day in Finland in 1999, just before the new millennium would take us to totally new era and paradigm of co-operation and peace, as many people hoped for. Lots of snow, a slippery road and a mother with his furious 6 years old autistic son trying to catch a bus to a therapy session. The son had had a fight with his friend and refused with all fuming, kicking and biting to follow her mother.

Those fights had been going on for years. No treatment had been of any use. Both were quite exhausted with life. The mother was unable to handle the situation and was becoming desperate, just wanting to vanish into the cold winter breeze and never turn back again. But she knew she had to fight back that desire. Just for her sons sake, if nothing else.

The fight continued. Lots of screaming, kicking and biting. Then, suddenly something odd happened. 

Deep in herself she gave up. She gave up all the fighting she had been doing with her son for years, gave up all the useless therapies and all the norms they could not handle. And when she opened her mouth, some very peculiar questions started to come out of her mouth. 

Those words changed everything. 

Under the coming weeks the questions turned into three relaxing awareness techniques using the ever renewable resources of human nature: thoughts, emotions and desires. She started to call the techniques for The Thought Sieve, The Emotion Elevator and The Desire Net - The Atuhe -method referring to the first Finnish syllables of the three techniques. (A jatusseula, Tu nnehissi, H aluhaavi =E lämä/Life). Maybe in English speaking countries you can call it TED AL (T hought sieve, E motion elevator, D desire net => A ctions => L ife circumstances)

This is how the first discussion went.

• Oh. I can see that you are furious! (seeing the situation as it is, without any judgement)
• Of course I am!!!!
• What might be the reason? (the thought fueling the emotion)
• It is sooo wrong that Teemu did not do what I want him to do!  He is such an idiot! 
• Oh, that kind of thoughts are normal when one is angry. (normalizing the thoughts)
• Where and how in your body are you feeling that emotion? (reducing the emotion to a feeling in the body)
• In my hands. My hands are burning hot.
• And what would you like to do? (becoming aware of the desire caused by the thought and emotion)
• Hit him! Really hit him!
• Ok. Let us do so - but only in our imagination. Let us take a deep breath, hold it and during that one breath imagine that we hit him really many times. We can hit, kick and punch the air as hard as we can. And the moment we cannot hold our breath any more, we let it all go. (reducing the emotional charge through restricted allowance of the physical need to fight)
• Let us do so! Just in our imagination.   

• What emotion is there under the furiousness? (becoming aware of the charged emotion)
• Sorrow. I am so sad.
• Also I am sad sometimes, it is quite normal. (normalizing the emotion)
• What are you sad for? (becoming aware of the thoughts fueling the emotion)
• I am sad about the fight with my best friend and that he might never come to play with me again.
• Such episodes happen between people. And then one might think that it never turns to happiness again. It has happened to me many times. (normalizing the thoughts)
• Where in your body do you feel it? (reducing the emotion to a feeling in the body)
• In my throat. It is contracting my throat.
• And what would you like to do? (becoming aware of the desire fueled by the thought/emotion)
• I want to cry.

• Ok. Let us do it - but only in our imagination. Let us take a deep breath, hold it and during that one breath imagine that we cry. We put more tension to our throats and pretend that we cry.  The moment we cannot hold our breath any more, we let it all go. (reducing the emotional charge through limited allowance of the need)

•  What is the emotion under the sorrow? (becoming aware of the emotion)
• Fear.
• And what do you fear? (becoming aware of the thought fueling the emotion)
• I fear that I will be left alone. And that nobody will ever play with me again.
• That kind of thoughts might come up in that mood. It is normal. (normalizing the thoughts)
• Where in your body do you feel it? (reducing emotion to a feeling in his body)
• It is in my stomach. My whole stomach is tense.
• And what would you like to do? (becoming aware of the desire fueled by the thought and emotion)
• I do not know.

• It is OK. Let us just take a deep breath, hold it and tense our stomach as much as we can. And when we cannot hold it any more, we just let everything go.

• What emotion is there under the fear? (deepening the process)
• Nothing. Just emptiness.

• OK. let us just take a deep breath, hold it and tense our bodies as much as we can. And when we cannot hold it any more, we just let everything go.

• What emotion is there under the emptiness? (deepening the process)
• Peace. Just peace.

And there we were. I and my son, who had a couple of minutes ago been full of rage. What magic! What grace!  - The silence of that moment was deeper than all the oceans, wider than the universe. And it stayed.

Then came the real magic. 

• And now, when you are at peace, tell me.. what would you like to do? (redirecting the future from fighting to something else)
• I want to apologize and ask Teemu to come and play with me. We can certainly find rules that suit both of us. - I had never, ever been able to imagine to hear those words from my son. It was a total miracle. 

 Just few minutes from war to peace.

 Whhooooooooa! So, I asked myself: "What did I just experience?" The insights started to roll in.

1. I can calm my son in minutes. (incredible!!!!)
2. Emotions are sensations/feelings in the body. (holy cow, this makes it all easier)
3. Emotions run in cycles, nested in each others. (why didn't his therapist tell me about this???)
4. Also desires are nested in each others and depending on the emotional state. (well, this makes sense)
5. A thought fuels both emotions and desires (and if not questioned can lead to even violence - no good news considering that most people are NOT aware of it) 
6. Deep down under is a spring of peace. (oh my god..is that there all the time?)
7. One can reach it fast by following the natural flow of the bodily reactions. (whaatttt...are you kidding me?!)

That was mind-blowing. I had jus found the unmeasurable treasure: the alchemist formula of creating life circumstances.